“I don’t want to be Beyonce; I want to be Megan Fox.” These were the words of one of my classmates when we hadn’t even reached the tender age of 10 years old. Dissatisfaction with oneself doesn’t always start in the home, oftentimes this phenomenon can be attributed to a lack of diversity in one’s surroundings and or in the media one is consuming. Being starved of proper representation can lead to severe insecurity, body dysmorphia, and self-loathing.
It’s important to be able to see ourselves in the people we look up to, whether they’re fictional or real, anyone we aspire to be should have attributes that we can relate to, to reinforce our ability to reach the same goals this entity has accomplished. Otherwise, unless there’s a clear understanding that this character’s accomplishments are unrealistic, a host of disappointments could befall us, and we may be left feeling like the issue lies within ourselves.
Girls with red, rosy cheeks, golden locks, and fair skin are what I perceived as pretty when I was younger. Not because I was raised with a one-dimensional perspective of what beauty looks like, but because most of the women I saw playing the “queen bee” or the “popular pretty girl” were white. Of course, I did see black female characters in prominent roles, even lead roles, but the amount of media that had black, female leads paled in comparison to the plethora of films and television shows whose attempt at representation never rose beyond a token character of color. And often, many of the characters used to diversify the cast were played by lighter-skinned black women, with ambiguous features that were not representative of the average African American girl.
I found myself comparing my thick, curly hair and two-toned lips to people I would never look like and trying to change my appearance to force myself into a box that was never meant to carry a little black girl like me. I couldn’t understand why my hair wasn’t as silky and straight as the girls who played on my favorite shows. I was confused and eventually, my confusion devolved into frustration with myself. I just wanted to look like who I saw.
A lack of diversity is an imbalance in different facets of life that elevates one group of people while neglecting others. This can cause an imbalance within oneself and make one feel like they’re inadequate or inferior due to not bearing enough of a resemblance to the people they’re most exposed to. Fortunately, as I got older, the shows I watched became more inclusive and showcased characters hailing from a slew of different backgrounds, but some people have been so negatively impacted by the lack of representation that it may take more for them to overcome their internal battles. Now when I see women with rich brown skin, big, coily fros, and full plump lips, I think to myself ‘Wow, how beautiful.’
