If you’ve been considering traveling solo, but apprehension is holding you back, I’m glad this story found you. Solo trips can seem scary, but many travelers have attested to their discovery of enlightenment, knowledge, and freedom. For first-time solo traveler Anita Wong, it was a discovery of self.
Six months ago, Anita’s life was repleted with routine. She spent her time in San Francisco fulfilling duties for her lucrative, but uninspiring finance job while balancing an unfulfilling romantic relationship. Then, her life was turned upside down.
“I’ve just not had the best year, literally the worst year of my life,” said Wong. “I’ve had a couple big losses, one of which was my father and the other was my dog.”
But when it rains, it pours. As Anita was mourning the passing of her father, she suddenly had to maneuver a breakup from a long-term relationship of 12 years, and moonlight as a caregiver for her mother who had recently suffered from a stroke. All in a two month timeframe.
In the hopes of getting her mind and her life on track, Anita made the impromptu decision to embark on her first solo trip. “I wanted to go and process my emotions, really be in stillness, and think about all the things that have happened,” she said. “I’d always wanted to travel and do things on my own accord.”
In that month-long trip, she would experience the beauty and culture of countries like England, Spain, France, and Portugal, while stumbling upon life-changing connections and mind-altering revelations.
“One thing I did that was really cool is take a cooking class in San Sebastián, Spain,” said Wong. ”I was thinking about my father a lot because he had owned restaurants for a long time. I thought about how proud he’d be of me for taking off and doing my own thing. That experience allowed me to honor my father in my own way.”
In that five hour class, Anita ate, drank, and laughed with the chef and another couple as they prepared a five course meal. “I wondered ‘What would my life be like if I went to culinary school? Why don’t I do that?’”
Not only did her travels ignite a new life goal, but they presented opportunities for her to form and cultivate new relationships.
“I happened to be in France during the same time as my running buddy from San Francisco, and I didn’t have super set plans for my travel, so we hung out,” she said. “We had the most amazing three days together, and he’s someone who really inspires and motivates me.”
Anita is planning to move to Australia in the coming months to be with him and pursue a new career. But the feel-good stories didn’t stop there.
While Anita was in London, she went to a pub in Tottenham to watch a Premier League football match, and was greeted by a woman who was waiting for her group of friends.
“She invited me to join her friends, and she and I just clicked right away,” said Wong. “We had the same sense of humor, and it was really fun to be able to let go and be myself with this complete stranger. I know now that she’s going to be a lifelong friend.”
Anita went on to have a similar experience in Majorca, Spain when she met a couple in the airport while waiting out an aggressive storm that had all flights either canceled or delayed.
“We spent like 2 hours together in the airport,” she said. “They actually invited me to stay with them in Galicia, which was so crazy. They were such wonderful and gracious people.”
Anita spent time with this couple in Santiago de Compostela, then Porto, Portugal and finally Galicia, in their home. Who knew that a journey to self-reflection would lead to so many quality friendships?
However, at its core, a solo trip provides the best reflection when it’s truly solo. To stay entertained while spending so much time to herself, Anita read a lot of books, listened to a playlist that her friend made her, enjoyed people-watching, and wandered the streets to get “lost” on her own accord.
“It’s just so refreshing to go down a street solely because it looks cool or it looks pretty. You can just go and do that on your own,” said Wong.
For my fellow women, I know what you’re thinking right now. How do you prioritize safety while traveling alone?
“When traveling solo as a woman you have to be more cautious and more aware of your surroundings,” said Wong. “If something doesn’t feel right, you can literally stop wherever you are and walk to a nearby coffee shop or supermarket. Go somewhere with lots of other people.”
Anita remarks that she only felt unsafe a handful of times throughout the entire trip, but that it wasn’t a hindrance in comparison to all of the good she got out of it. Along with enjoying her solitude, she enjoyed a break from having a strict schedule.
“I’m normally the type of traveler with an excel sheet that has everything planned to the tee,” said Wong. “I booked a one-way ticket to London and took it one day at a time. I’d look at hostels or accommodations and I just booked things as I went.”
She resolves that her biggest takeaway from the trip is to be flexible, to let go of things, and that it’s okay if you don’t have everything planned out. Going with the flow allows you to enjoy time to yourself and prioritize your needs as they arise.
“Sometimes when your schedules are planned to the tee, you miss out on a lot of the magic that comes with travel: connecting with people, wandering around, and observing other cultures,” said Wong. “I met so many people that were also solo travelers, that I now value deeper connections.”
Since coming back to the states, Anita has been incorporating more fitness and wellness into her routine like running, reading, yoga, and meditation.
Through her travels, she has learned how to say “no” to things she doesn’t want to do, and prioritizes what she would rather spend her time doing, a luxury afforded to her after spending so much time by herself.
Right now, Anita is studying for her Wine & Spirit Education Trust (WSET) Certification with a dream of delving into the world of food and beverage one day. “My passion is being able to share the food and experiences that I’ve had with the world. I like all types of cuisine, the more culturally diverse the better,” she said.
She plans to do more solo traveling in the future, and already has a trip to Italy planned. She’s even toyed with the dream of one day moving back to Spain and going to culinary school in the culinary haven of San Sebastián.
Though Anita’s story is inspiring, it’s not unfathomable. “If I can do it, anyone can do it. I’m really not brave or courageous. I’m just like everyone else,” she said.
Solo traveling can transform your attitude about the world and its various cultures. It can give you an involuntary “chill pill” and teach you to go with the flow. Or it can provide solace in a troubling time.
Whatever your goal, it’s out there in another country, you just have to find it.
