You can’t have missed that nipples are ‘in’. By which I mean, of course, that they are out. Just look at the bounty of braless boobs we’ve seen in recent months – at fashion shows (and I mean in the audience – nipples on the runway are notable to nobody), on red carpets, at glitzy parties (and now that the holiday season is coming, I’ll venture more and more real life dos will also start – not just end – with t*ts out).
There’s Dua Lipa in her mesh Versace at the Barbie premiere. Here’s Emily in Paris star Camille Razat at the SS24 Givenchy show in a sheer lilac dress, and Kelly Rowland at Christopher Esber. Emma Mackey, Taylor Russell, unofficial freed-nipple spokesperson Florence Pugh; they too have gone bra-free.
And now concrete proof of the mainstream desirability (read: marketability) of visible nipples, comes with the release of Kim Kardashian’s latest Skims innovation: the Ultimate Nipple Bra. Designed with ‘a built-in raised nipple detail for a perky, braless look that makes a bold statement’ – as per the Skims on-site product descriptions – according to Kim’s own promo video ‘no matter how hot it is, you’ll always look cold’. ‘Some days are hard, but these nipples are harder,’ she quips, a line that sounds very Samantha Jones – fitting, since the faux-nips call to mind the silicon ones Manhattan’s horniest PR wore in Sex and the City season four. The slap-and-tickle not-so-subtle subtext is not that you are cold, but that you are turned on. Go on admit that would add a bit of ‘ooh-la-la’ to your Tuesday morning/Waitrose shop/grey sweats.
Still, for naysayers, this is just another attention-seeking Kardashian move. A bra that makes you look like *checks notes* you’re not wearing a bra? Well, sure, when you put it like that it sounds ridiculous. But Skims isn’t valued at $4 billion for being ridiculous. And the £58 bras haven’t sold out in every…
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