What “mother” means to LGBTQ ballroom culture

What “mother” means to LGBTQ ballroom culture
Mother LeeLee James, with the House of LaBeija, poses at a YMCA in Denver on March 22, 2023. (Rachel Woolf)

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As he scrolled through social media, Vipin Pratap was proud to come across a video of his “mother” performing onstage. His so-called mother didn’t give birth to him or raise him — at least not in the traditional sense. But Pratap argues that pop singer Taylor Swift is an inspiration and a provider, just like all mothers should be.

“When women like Taylor use their platform and art to express themselves in a way very few people can, that is empowering and encouraging and commendable,” Pratap wrote in an email. “All the qualities that the term ‘mother’ is associated with.”

In the past year, Swifties and other fans — or stans, as obsessed fans are called — say they have noticed an uptick in the use of “mother” to praise icons such as Madonna, Beyoncé and Swift for their power and resilience. These social media posts, which usually include photos or short videos of the celebrity, are often captioned “MOTHER,” “she’s so mother” or “mother is mothering.” Tied to the term’s rise in popularity, comparable posts have called “The Last of Us” actor Pedro Pascal an internet “daddy” and have gushed that singer Demi Lovato is “giving parent.”

The term has its origins in LGBTQ ballroom culture and plays an important part in Black transgender women’s history. As it enters the mainstream, some in the ballroom community contend that stans don’t recognize its history and significance. In a ballroom context, those who hold the title “mother” take on real-life responsibilities for leading their groups — called houses — to victory in ball competitions as well as in daily life. People who partake in the culture want those who use “mother” and other ballroom terms, such as the compliments “sickening” and “serving face,” to give them their due…

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